What makes you a good person? What makes any of us a good person?

Why do some of us always come out on top, whilst the rest of us wallow in the scraps of their glory?

Is it our actions, our personality or do some of us get heaped with the good person name despite being utter shits?

I like to think I’m a good person. I always try to put other people first, try to be kind, try to do my best to make others happy but I always feel like I am the  loser. This could be down to the fact that I’ve always been a glass half empty kinda girl but having lived for nearly 31 years, I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m not one of the lucky ones.

I wont have a dazzling career, I’ll most probably be renting forever, I’ll always be covered in lonely person glitter and will likely die and be eaten by my cats. Should I be happy with my lot and stop complaining? People have it a lot worse then I do and I know I should be grateful I have somewhere to live and am not persecuted for what I like. But yes I get jealous and pissed off.

I’m tired of being nice and good. Done with always doing the right thing and putting other people before myself. Sick of seeing utter dicks be utter dicks and come away smelling like the freshest rose. When is it my turn? When do I get to be considered a good person? When does life starting taking my side?

Should I just give up hope and take the cards handed to me, or should I keep fighting to get what I want? I want to keep fighting, and maybe just maybe, I’ll trample enough people on my way up to be one of the good people.