Challenge what the future holds

So I’ve hit my 50th post already – 49 posts of mind numbing rubbish of the stuff contained with in my large head.

So what do I do for 50? I could list my 50 favourite films, sayings, or cats names I’ve considered (yes I have that many!). Instead I thought I would say the 50 things I’ve learnt recently, I want to  make a record of them so if it ever gets so terribly shit again I have 50 things to remind me its not all that bad.

1) I do deserve more. I never used to think I did despite what certain people told me. I deserve to be happy and I don’t need to be held accountable for wanting that.

2) Things do get better. It takes awhile, but little but little they really do.

3) It’s okay to be upset.  Crying is not a weakness and I should never ever think it is. It just shows that you are human.

4) People do like me.  Although I was told people didn’t they do and I shouldn’t believe the crap that some people spout.

5) Everything can be turned upside down and its not the end. So my relationship broke down, my dreams were lost and my job vanished. Not the best seven months of my life but not the worst. Everything can be put right again, you just have to keep believing.

6) Friends.  So I may not have a billion friends or be out every single day/weekend, but those I truly consider my friends can be counted on my hands and I’m okay with that. They are always there to pick me up when I need it and their friendship is worth more to me then a legion of arse-holes waiting to pounce at the right opportunity.

7) I am semi pretty. I may have a large forehead that you could build a tenant block on and wonky eyes, and be carrying a bit of a muffin top but I am semi pretty and have legs like a gazelle and hair soft as an angel. And I’m okay with that.

8) Cats. They are awesome and make the world a better place. Dee has been the one constant in my life recently and no matter how much shit I put her through she is always there for a cuddle.

9) I’m not a bad person. People have tried to make me out to be a cunt and I’m not. I’m a dick and I won’t ever deny that but not a cunt never ever a cunt.

10) Its okay to smile. I don’t have to live in fear of being happy anymore. I refuse to let one person bring me down.

11) Obsessing won’t get you anywhere. It won’t change anything, so let it go. It won’t make you happy.

12) If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?  Amen

13) Baking. I’m pretty fucking awesome at it. That is all.

14) Being creative. My stuff is not shit and I need to do it more. Even if its only for myself.

15) Family. As much as they piss me off at times, I would be lost without them. I shouldn’t push them away.

16) Dancing in your pants. This is a fun thing to do (see also dancing in the shower).

17) Saying Thank You.  Thank you for breaking up with me. Thank you for making my life hell for these last few months. Thank you for making me realise what I want and realising that wasn’t you and the bullshit that you bring.

18) New roads to travel.  Yes they may look scary now, but take a light with you and you never know what or who you will find on that path.

19) Being me. It’s okay to be me. It’s fine to wear what you want, as my Nan told me today “As long as you like it, it doesn’t matter what anyone else says!”

20) Surrounding yourself with positivity. Be it people, places or objects.

21) New underwear. It’s awesome and makes you feel fantastic. Screw it that the bra was over £30, it makes your knockers look fantastic!

22) Others. Don’t worry what other people think about you. Let them think what they want and stick two fingers up to them if they don’t like what you are doing.

23) Happy songs. Make a list of happy songs with help from others as its really therapeutic and then play them when you feel sad. 100% happiness ensured.

24) Men. Not all of them are arse-holes, there are some really good eggs out there. You just need to wade through some shit to reach them. 

25) Hurt. Yes he hurt you and yes you want to rip his face off but sometimes you have to say “fuck it” and leave it behind.

26) Find one thing every day that makes you happy.  It can be a song, a saying, a picture etc. Just find one thing, anything that makes you happy.

27) Don’t keep to the shadows. You will miss out and people will miss out on you, and you are too awesome to be missed.

28) Enjoy the little things. Getting the last seat on the bus is a little thing but a WIN of the day!

29) Disney. Singing Disney songs can make the day much more fun.

30) Don’t be afraid. Stop being scared of everything and everyone – it’s getting boring and you are missing out on so much.

31) Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a battle.

32) Power. Remember you have no power over me.

33) Knowing stupid things doesn’t make you stupid.  It just means you like weird things.

34) Apologise.  But not all the time only when you’ve done something bad/wrong.

35) Never stray from the path, eat a windfall apple or trust a man whose eyebrows meet in the middle. Wise words Angela, wise words indeed.

36) Cleansing. Throw out stuff that remind you of HIM. It’s just stuff and its cluttering up your life unnecessarily.

37) Talking. It’s fine to talk about it and you should.

38) Shame. Never be ashamed about what happened. It happened.

39) Definition. One period of your life does not define you as a person. Never forget that.

40) Honesty. Be honest but maybe not as honest as you always are!

41) Learn. You should learn from mistakes that you’ve made. That is the only way you will learn not to make them again.

42) Don’t let yourself go feral. Make the effort to look nice, if only for yourself.

43) Bruises fade. And so will the pain that came with them.

44) When your past calls, don’t answer it as it has nothing new to say.

45) Eating well. Stop eating so much crap. A bit of fruit won’t kill you and it can actually be quite nice.

46) Living well is the best revenge. How true those words are.

47) Unicorns. They are awesome and you should inspire to be as awesome as them.

48) Negativity. Surround yourself with positive people and it will rub off on you.

49) You.  Are not nothing, don’t let anyone tell you that you are.

50) To discover new oceans, you must have the courage to lose sight of the shore.  And boy is there a big ocean to explore and lots of fish to see. And I’m going to enjoying sailing those seas!

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