I’m all at sea, where no one can bother me

I’m slumping horrifically at the moment. Even breathing seems like a huge task, so spending days repeating again and again in my head “breathe in, breathe out”. My brain is working overtime, and the poor hamster in the wheel who is maintaining power is due a break and he can’t get it.

I’m stressing unnecessarily about things I can’t control and not actioning those that I can. I’m building fences to climb over when I should be planting flowers, and my heart just wants to vomit out of my mouth.

I’m recognising this spiral but not strong enough to do anything about it. If I don’t stay active I find myself just wanting to cry. I don’t know why. I’ve not lost anything or anyone but apparently this seems like a good coping mechanism.

I don’t feel ill but I know I’m putting out little distress calls, a little ship lost in the gloom that scared of crashing on the rocks.

It will be okay I’m sure. Just need to not over think it.

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