This is a betrayal of everything I stand for

My best friend convinced me to run and to train for a race. When I saw convince, I mean she caught me off guard when I was dosed up on cold and flu medicine. She got me when I was down and I agreed. Stupidly I agreed. My only demands were:

  1. She can’t run off without me – she’s about to do an ultra marathon which tells you all you need to know about her fitness levels
  2. I want a cool medal – I’m not wearing lycra for any shit medal.

My training commenced by meeting her in the local park, where I pulled down my top and winced at the general public looking at my body clad in material so clingy you could see every line and ripple. I managed a halfhearted jog/walk which ended with me sicking in my mouth and her telling me to “Swallow it down!”

Week two I managed to run two 1km laps with only a small walk in between each. Two weeks and I ran 1km twice!! Seriously, I almost cried with joy that I had achieved something. Especially something that at school I hated and would have a period each time we had to do cross country. Sorry Mr PE teacher, I’m bleeding again so I need to sit this one out.

Its week three now, I missed a week off for being sick / working away. Today was my week back and it sucked. I ran for 1km on the treadmill and then nearly vomited. Lets just say its not my friend. The only bonus is a few people have told me I have good legs which made me do a giddy laugh and a brush off, all whilst internally crying tears of joy that at 34 I have good legs. MUM I’VE MADE IT!

So by Feb/March 2018 I need to be able to run 5k. Any hints would be welcome, as would ideas on where I can get some fun running tights and tops. I’ve decided this is the only way I’m gonna make it through. Dress myself in happy clothes to forget that I really hate running.

I’m also looking for any music for my playlist. I’m also looking for someone to tell me “Sit this one out” but I doubt it will happen.

I’m off now to stretch out my legs and do some mouth sicks. Running is so much fun. So much fun…

(Picture credit to the wonderful Gemma Correll – go buy all her stuff now!)

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